Dream and Treasure

The seed of a lifelong dream took root in fertile soil when I was just a girl. It began to germinate and unfurl its tender leaves during the summers, when life consisted of the routine farm, garden, and kitchen chores. 

The dream took on many forms in my girlish mind, yet there were recurring elements that rose to the surface. There was always a godly, devoted husband who adored me. Scripture and Christian teaching would be the heartbeat of our home. There was always a large brood of boys, a roomy kitchen, and a long farmhouse table laden with the homespun meals I loved to cook.

This dream was so precious to me that I tucked it safely away in a sunlit corner of my heart and guarded it with silence. To breathe a word of it to another human soul risked its very existence. If I spoke of it, it may be squashed by mocking laughter or withered in the heat of criticism.  So, there it rested in silence—a secret between my heavenly Father and me. 

Though it was an innocent girlish dream, it was rooted in the Scripture that filled our home. It was well-watered by the living water that freely flowed from it. Scripture spoke of God blessing families with children. I could conceive of no better way to honor God than by raising my tribe of God-honoring children alongside my strong, godly husband in our roomy farmhouse. As we taught our children the trustworthy deeds of the Lord, we would be passing the torch of faith to the next generation as declared in Scripture:

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.” Psalm 127:3

Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

In my innocence, it seemed inconceivable He would not fulfill my pure-hearted dream exactly as I asked, as it was rooted in devotion to Him. 

This was my first act of entrusting Him with something precious to me. I found that He would not crush my dream with ridicule nor let it wither beneath the hot breath of His criticism. He was teaching me early that He could be trusted. 

As I grew, the dream matured and took on flesh and blood as I married and had twin boys. I was certain it was the beginning of my big family. This was the unfolding of my lifelong dream. It was wondrous to behold, and I was full of hope and expectation. 

As His plan unfolded, it looked and felt very different than I hoped. He’d held and protected this precious treasure with me since I was a young girl. I entrusted Him with it, and now it seemed He had reneged. It seemed He was cruelly crushing the treasure I entrusted to His care.

However, part of that early process of learning to trust Him was also learning His character as revealed in Scripture. Scripture told me repeatedly that He was full of loving kindness, and His plans and purposes were higher than mine. I may not understand what He is doing at the moment, but I could always trust His heart. He always acted in my best interest, though not always for my immediate comfort. 

Though I learned it in rudimentary ways as a young girl, I would learn that lesson well as His plans unfolded. Throughout the years, He and I would have ongoing conversations that centered around this basic question: 

Could I trust Him enough to follow Him when His ways were confusing, and even seemed cruel?

The journey that began with a girlhood dream was truly a journey of learning to trust Him with my most precious treasures. It was a journey of learning to love Him even more than my lifelong dream. It was a journey of learning to trust Him when He asked hard things of me and seemingly crushed those treasures I entrusted to His care. It was also the path to learning that He was the true treasure. He was more precious than any carefully nurtured dream, however pure.

In His wisdom, He began to teach me to trust Him when I was just a girl and showed me again and again that He was worthy of my total trust. For had I not learned it as a farmgirl, I surely would have faltered and turned away, disillusioned and disheartened when He asked me to trust Him completely as together, we walked the hard road of heartbreak and loss.

I may never have my large brood of boys, spacious kitchen, or long farmhouse table, but I have a treasure more precious. I walk in intimate friendship with the Ancient of Days, and that could only happen as I gave Him my precious dream upon His request.  In exchange, He gave me Himself—the greatest treasure of all.